I'm Now a Jaguar but I'll Always Be a Tiger at Heart

On Tuesday the 24th of August I will be waking up early, sharpening my #2 pencils, grabbing my trapper keeper, and heading off to school. I am re-entering my youth and getting a second degree. I already have a BA in Art and will be getting a BFA in Graphic Design with a minor in Marketing. Hopefully after I end my lifelong career as a professional student I will be able to acquire a "grown-up job," like an astronaut or a professional badminton player.

I am quite excited about returning to school, this go around they are giving me a senior citizen discount in the campus food court due to the fact I am a few years older than the other freshmen. I am only registered for two classes this semester. The first is Management, where I will most likely be mistaken for the teacher, and the second is Painting III, which I am especially enthused about. It will give me the chance to actually have time to paint, and possibly even learn something (doubt it, I'll probably have to teach the class because of my unbelievable skills).

Really the only downside to the whole school thing is the fact that my new university (University of South Alabama (USA(or "South" as most refer to it))) is located in the heart of Mobile, AL. I don't know if you are familiar with it, but it was named as the "rainiest city in America"...that's right...it beat out Seattle. Rain is super awesome to walk to class in; the only thing more awesome is the traffic in Mobile.

Despite the few negatives, it will be fun to be a student again, so I can pretend I don't have responsibilities anymore.

Rocket and Kyla; Practically the Same Being

I went to visit my dad, his wife Leah, and my adorable little sister Kyla this past weekend. Every time I visit I find myself comparing and contrasting my angelic sibling to my son-puppy Rocket. It's quite uncanny how alike the are. I thought I would compile a list of similarities for you to enjoy.

Playtime

All toys are inserted in mouth, slobbered and chewed upon.

Anything dangerous or valuable must be put out of reach, because in their eyes, toys are not limited to the playthings that we so lovingly provide for them.

Energy Level

High

Food

They will pretty much eat anything you stick in front of their face, because they trust you.

TV Time

They completely disregard the fact that you want to watch your favorite show.

Bath Time

A fit is pitched beforehand. They look completely adorable while being bathed. Both can't wait to be done.

Nap Time

This is the time when you look at them and say, "I have never seen a sweeter, more perfect creature, I'm so lucky they are mine."

They wake up. Always before you are done enjoying the peace.

Daily Routine

Wake up. Pee/Poop. Eat. Play. Pee/Poop. Nap. Eat. Play. Pee/Poop. Nap. Eat. Play. Pee/Poop. Sleep.

Feelings Toward Them

I wouldn't give them up for anything!!

Look Out Arkansas, Here We Come!

"Do you ever grip the steering wheel so hard that your fingers go numb?".....long pause....."No Momma, I don't."

It's that time of year again. Next week we will be heading out on our long, nerve filled drive to Arkansas. I will be doing all driving this year as a preventative measure to the lossage of digits.

I am especially excited about the trip this year. My Grandpa is celebrating his 90th birthday! As to be expected, the whole family is going all out for the party; gathering old stories, old pictures, and old people. It should be a real happening shin-dig, you know how those 90 year olds like to get down. Grandpa is excited too. He won't straight out say that he is, but he has called every weekend for the past month to discuss sleeping arrangements, which are the same every year....my mom and I sleep in the room with the air conditioner and door. Sounds worse than it is, the living room has a window unit as well. The other guest room, for some reason, was built sans door. Grandpa likes to go to bed around 7pm and get up about 4am. That would be alright if he were quiet. He bangs and clangs around and when you come dragging out of the bedroom he smiles and says "I didn't wake you up did I?".....not planned at all.

Despite the lack of sleep and lack of cool air, I love going to Grandpa's house. My Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins all get together. Sometimes we get to go see other relatives, which is always a delight; we always walk away with something to make fun of for the next few days. I can't figure out how we got to be the only normal family.

Well I can't wait to see everyone next week! I'm sure I'll come back with more than enough to blog about.

Injustices

Hello internet, let me tell you all about the things that annoyed me today. They have occurred in three stages. These are all things that have built up over time and exploded today.

Stage One: Let us start from the beginning. You are all aware of my ruggedly handsome dog, Rocket. Well today is his 2nd birthday. Happy Birthday Rocket! I adopted Rocket from the animal control officer in our town a little over a year ago. He was chained up in the back yard, his nose six inches from touching the nose of the German Shepard that was chained up as well. They were just standing there barking at each other. This was the only animal interaction my sweet little puppy had the first 8 months of his life. Because he wasn't properly socialized as a young'n, he now believes the proper way to greet a dog or a person is to cry, squeal, bark, or make any noise that you would not think possible from any living creature. Therefore, when he needs to poop and everyone in the neighborhood conveniently decides to walk their dogs at the same time, he is one step away from stroking out, much less getting his business done. So this morning he told me that nature was calling and he must get it done before I had to leave for work. So we went outside and what do ya know, everyone is walking their dogs....Rocket takes off full speed, screeching the whole way, and breaks his leash. Luckily it is a retractable leash and it did not snap right off, it just stripped it out to point of no retractability. Poor little Rocket had to sit inside all day, on his birthday, having to hold his poop in.

Stage Two: Back to the animal control officer. A girl I work with has two cats, which are indoor/outdoor animals. She also has an old hag living across the street that has nothing better to do with her life than to complain about the cats getting in her precious garden. Well this lady called the animal control officer and had them come pick the cats up. After bailing the cats out of the pound my co-worker went to the neighbor and told her that if she saw the cats in her yard again to call her and she would come get them, and she gave the neighbor a list of things to do to get the cats out of her yard (like spraying them with water). A few months later the cats were picked up out of my co-workers front yard, by the animal control officer, with a note left on the door that said the cats were "running at large." Once again she went and bailed the fugitive cats out of the pound. Then one night she hears a knock at the door, it is a police officer, presenting her with a ticket and order to appear in court.....because of her outlaw felines. Today was her court date. She left work around 1:00. We get a phone call from her around 3:30 saying they are holding her at the police station until someone brings her fine of $220 in cash, and if they don't receive it by 4:30 she will have to spend the night in jail. She was never told beforehand how much she would owe. I guess they just expect everyone to carry hundreds of dollars around in their pocket. Anyhow, the judge tells her she has 90 days to find a solution for the problem or the court will order her to put the cats down.....disgusting.

Stage Three: Direct TV. I Hate Direct TV. Our satellite tv....that we have to pay for each month....has not worked in weeks. They sent someone out to our house to "fix" it and his two suggestions were to 1. cut down a tree limb thats blocking the signal, or 2. move the dish to the middle of the yard (the classiest choice, I believe). Not once did he suggest moving the dish to the roof, where many people put there dish, he might have to actually work if he were to do all that. So long story short, I do not get to watch Glee tonight.

Amy Atkins is My Favorite Family Member

I would like to take this time to thank my wonderful cousin Amy for being my one and only follower. I hope you other family members reading this realize that you just lost A LOT of brownie points in my book, some of you are even in the negative points (Eva Landreth, for reasons previously mentioned in a little blog entry entitled "Gifts from Family"). Amy, you now have your own chapter of greatness in my little book of brownie points.

Pupalups

So for anyone who knows me, you know that I am pretty much obsessed with my dogs. I hate to admit it but I like my dogs more than I like most people. And I can't seem to wrap my head around "cat people." I mean really. I cannot understand why anyone would prefer a cat over a dog. And call me crazy, but personally I prefer dogs to children as well. Anyway I think you get my point. My personal little man is quite the mystery. I can't figure out what dogs got together and created this 8th wonder of the world. So today I spent too many hours to admit searching for dogs that resemble my sweet baby angel. It's obvious he is part terrier, his personality screams terrier. But which one I don't know. On my quest today I came across a list of "designer dogs." I have known about these "designers dogs" for a while now, but I thought they mostly consisted of anything mixed with a poodle. It seems that this list of designs has grown much larger. I'm pretty sure that anything flies as long as it has a catchy name. If I can ever figure out what 23 dogs got together to create Rocket, I will most definitely be compiling a list and creating quite the little name for this new "breed." And believe you me I WILL be getting it recognized as a designer breed. I found that even our chubby little stinker, Shelby is one of these so-called "designer dogs," her official breed is Schnug (pug and miniature schnauzer). A few years ago her official breed was Mutt. I guess breeders finally wised up and realized that mixed breeds make way better pets. Now designer dogs cost more than pure breeds. Call me old fashion but I like to get my designer dogs from the local pound, or in Rocket's case, Craigslist. Moral of the story, I love my dogs!

Gifts from Family

So I had a missed call and voice mail on Thanksgiving Day from a number that seemed somewhat familiar, but unknown. I called my voice mail and Gladys(what I call the electronic voice on my voice mail) informed me that I had one new message. I listen anxiously to find out who my mystery caller was and what they wanted with me. It turns out it was my Aunt Pam calling to say she had a surprise for me. I was so excited, one because someone had actually called me, and two because the person who called had a surprise for me! It just doesn't get better than that! So I called my mommy dearest and asked her if she knew what the surprise was, turns out she did. She informed me that Pam, her older more distinguished, wiser sister; Caroline, the younger, somewhat distinguished, playful sister; Pam's joyful and amusing daughter Emily, and Caroline's disappointment but still loved daughter-in-law Eva, where all coming in town for a visit. They would be rolling in town on January 21st. We were so excited, so much so that Wanda (my mother) almost wet her pants! We ran out and made them goody bags filled with organic handmade soaps, bath poufs for that spa feel, monogrammed tissues, personalized notepads for their purses, and sleep masks for the best slumber of their lives. We spent weeks perfecting how our house looked so they would think they were in a five star resort. We planned out the foods we would eat, the games we would play, and the store we would go to. Then a few weeks before their arrival we get a phone call from Caroline telling us that Eva had backed out due to "car trouble." Ridiculous. I would rather have no car than to have to cancel a vacay to our house. Anywho, January 21st finally arrived and anticipation was killing me. I had to work that day and I could not wait to get off and rush home. They had quite a long drive from Arkansas to our house and decided to make it even longer by stopping and shopping along the way. They ended getting to the house around 7:30 Thursday night. We had fun catching up on everyone's lives. We awoke early on Friday morning to get started on the day of fun. Caroline claimed that the air mattress she had slept on felt as if it were filled with ice water. Then she had the audacity to pretend she felt like she might be getting sick. We all ignored her, had a wonderful breakfast of biscuits and nassau grits, got ready, and headed out for a day of shopping. Our first stop was at Old Time Pottery. A strange thing happened there; a role reversal. The mom's were the ones who wore Emily and I out. We had to retire to the OTP's old people hang out while the ladies finished up their shopping. As Emily and I were plotting to have "Wanda Kay Brewer Petty Smith Sanders" paged over the loud speaker we hear our names being belted out to report to check out; the old women beat us to it! We left OTP and headed for the outlet mall. We made it around the right side of the mall and got some great deals before Wanda started dragging her foot behind her due to her Planterfacitus. We left the mall and went home to have a lavish dinner of fried shrimp, coconut shrimp, and homemade mac and cheese. After dinner it was time to play games. We started off with hand and foot, but had to rotate player because Eva backed out of the trip and left us with an odd number of people, which proves to be a problem in pretty much every game imaginable. After five rounds the game was over and my team (Caroline and substitute Pam) was victorious. We decided to play catchphrase but couldn't make it work thanks again to Eva. So then it was on to Balderdash, which thankfully, does not require an even number of players. We all had a blast and laughed until we cried. We went to bed around 1a.m. Saturday morning Caroline decides she wants even more attention than she got on Friday. So once again she is claiming the air mattress was freezing and unbearable and now she has a "fever." Last time I checked a temp of 101.4 is not a fever it's and excuse, I mean grow up, if you are not passing out from the blood boiling in your body you do NOT have a fever. So I selflessly gave up my bed to the whiner. She insisted on calling us from her cell phone when she needed something. Then Wanda was tired of Caroline hogging the lime light so then all of a sudden she is "sick." Pam, Emily, and I were sick too, sick of these little whiny babies, so we went for another round of shopping and a short photo shoot at the beach. It was their last night in town and Pam made us some delicious jambalaya and homemade apple pie. Everyone went to bed at a reasonable hour and the snuck out at 4 in the morning on Sunday. I was informed later in the day that Pam was pulled over for speeding in our lovely town of Foley. Lucky for her the Foley police were very kind and she got off with a warning. I was sad they had to leave and spent my Sunday sulking. Wanda spent the entire day in bed because of her illness. I can't wait to go to Arkansas for a visit this summer, hopefully nobody will be "sick" this time.